Toes And Teeth

     I was hopping up our stairs the other day in a pair of my favorite fuzzy flip flops, when the tip of my flip flop "flipped" on a stair and my big, left toe "flopped" in the opposite direction.  Then I "flopped" onto the landing thinking, "Oooo, this one's gonna hurt."  My toe is now UUUUGLY and I'm not sure if it is just sprained or fractured, so I've decided to keep it elevated and stay in my bed like a princess for a few days.  I try not to look at it because it is DISTURBING, so I keep it covered with a blankie like it's deceased or something.
     Meanwhile, my youngest has been struggling with his VERY FIRST loose tooth.  For some reason, the first wiggly tooth has been a bit traumatic for all my kids except for Harrison (kid number three).  Harrison yanks them out if they even THINK about getting wiggly in hopes of a cash reward.  We do not do the tooth fairy thing, but my husband has been known to slip a kid a dollar in celebration when this event does occur. 
    My memories of children and the loss of the FIRST tooth include much whining and vacillating of, "Please pull it out... wait!  No!  Don't do it!"  My oldest, who is ironically terrified of the dentist, has been pursuing Joseph with many various and sundry methods for tooth removal.  She has offered to tie it to just about anything as a physics experiment.  Her favorite idea is tying it to a toaster and flinging it out a window.  See six year old's eyes widen. (Uh, NOT HELPING, Hayden!)  Her ichy little fingers have been dying to yank the little treasure out.  "I just want to SEE it, Joey!"  Little head shakes "No". 
    I finally resorted to the method I used with child number four.  I offered to sneak into the patient's room while he is sleeping and pull it out.  This was very easy with Sammy because he sleeps like his father.  Total surrender - mouth wide open.  I simply went in, tugged, and the kid didn't even move.  Joey, however, sleeps LIKE HIS MOTHER: like a soldier surrounded by the enemy.  Any little noise opens my eyes and I faithfully keep my mouth clamped shut in case any kind of spider wants to journey down my esophagus (could happen!).  I don't think I ever completely let go.  Each time I hobbled into the room (toe injury, remember), and attempted to pull out the little rebel, Joey would clamp his teeth together and turn his head away in his sleep.  I must have tried a half a dozen times that first night.  My husband tried it early the next morning and had the same response.  I have never prayed so hard about a tooth!  "Please, Lord, don't let it bleed.  Please Lord, let it not be traumatic.  Please Lord, don't let him swallow it!"  I tried again last night to no avail. 
   This morning, I woke up with Joey snuggled in my arms and Hayden, my oldest daughter, standing over us.  "Hey Joey, did your tooth come out?"  Joey quickly pulled the blanket over his head and spoke to her from underneath,
"It is coming out TODAY." 
"WHAT did you say?  I can't understand you under there!"
Head pops out.  I SAID, (head goes back under blanket)  "It's coming out to....AUGH!!!!!! (head pops out) "It's out, it's out!"
Joey is grinning triumphantly with a little bitty speck of a tooth cradled in the palm of his hand.  "Momma, you're my HERO!"
Momma is confused.  "Whaaaa?"
"When I crawled into your bed, you hit my tooth with your elbow while you were sleeping and you made it DANGLE!"
I had to laugh and delight in the Lord's sense of humor.  "Joey!  The Lord pulled a fast one on us!  I couldn't sneak into your room and pull it out while YOU were sleeping, so He had you sneak into my room and had me pull it out while I was sleeping!" I've been smiling all morning.  The Lord even knows how to handle uptight, recovering control freaks like us: with humor and great gentleness.  How I love Him! 
   Joey and I actually have something in common with my toe and his tooth.  And it's the BEST!  BENDY STRAWS!  Wooo Hooo!  I keep the bendy straws in my big first aid bin.  They are USUALLY only used for bedridden occasions.  I promised Joey he could use one through his new gap once his tooth was out.  And I, of course, am bedridden so I get one too.  Bendy straws always make things better.
     Meanwhile, I shall continue to teach school from my new "control" center: the bed.  I sort of like folks bringing me my meals while my foot is up, but it IS pretty boring and I am beginning to think my little darlings may be taking advantage of my situation.  They keep disappearing and I think I heard some air hockey going on this morning.  "Hey!  Are you boys doing your math?!  Emily, where ARE you? Alright, everybody bring your stuff into Momma's room.  Whoa, watch the foot!"
    The most DANGEROUS result of my injury is watching waaay too much HGTV.  Anyone want her house redecorated?  Cuz I GOT IDEAS.......